When Lin Wong proposed to his girlfriend Deidre Gaudion in 1987, she looked at him thoughtfully and said: “I have something to tell you. I have MS. That’s your way out if you don’t want to marry me now.”
“I told her that didn’t worry me at all. I was so in love with her,” recalled Lin, 69.
The Melbourne couple, who would be married for 38 years, first met at a friend's party in the early 1980s. Lin, who worked in retail and later in the transport industry, was captivated by the “intelligent, eloquent and astute” young woman. They soon swapped phone numbers.
“Deidre had certificates in commerce and business studies. She went to England for a few years to work as a PA in various companies. When she returned to Australia, she decided to become a teacher. Deidre could have done anything, she was that bright,” recalled Lin.
For many years, Deidre taught business studies at St Columba’s College, a Catholic girls’ school in Essendon. She later became the career counsellor, helping the girls decide what they should do for a living.
Deidre first started showing symptoms of MS while she was in England. Back in the 1980s, it often took a long time to get a diagnosis. But eventually, she was diagnosed with secondary progressive MS, a stage of the disease which comes after the relapsing form of MS. With secondary progressive MS, one’s disability worsens over time, and there is less likelihood of relapses when symptoms get worse, then better.
“It took a long time for things to get bad. Meanwhile, Deidre just carried on. She didn’t want to let the principal or her students down. She would walk into the school and work. When that got too hard, she used a walker. When she had to retire, she started using a wheelchair,” recalled Lin.
In her spare time, Deidre loved going to the art gallery or theatre with Lin or her girlfriends. The couple also enjoyed downtime at their Coburg home. They decided not to have children, opting for a dog and three cats instead. And Deidre certainly cherished those ‘fur babies.’
Deidre also collected over 200 porcelain dolls and an impressive array of dollhouse miniatures in her lifetime. She would spend hours painting dollhouse furniture and rearranging her collection to her satisfaction. Most years, Lin would take her to the annual dollhouse and miniatures exhibition in Melbourne so she could browse the stalls and add to her collection.
Helped others with MS and other illnesses to cope
When she retired, Deidre said she didn’t want to be stuck at home doing nothing. She told Lin she wanted to become a volunteer counsellor. Deidre first volunteered at the Royal Free Masons Gregory Lodge in Flemington, where she'd been a patient. Later she had the opportunity to volunteer more regularly at Royal Melbourne Hospital’s rehab unit, where she also received medical care.
For four years, Lin drove her three days a week to the hospital, where she would go around in her wheelchair, chatting with patients in various stages of their disability journey.
“Deidre would talk to all kinds of patients -- people with MS, motor neurone disease and diabetics who had had their limbs amputated. She would offer advice on how to manage certain issues or be a sympathetic ear if they needed to unload. Her career counselling training made her a great listener. People responded well to what she had to say. She knew all the nurses and could report on how the patients were going,” said Lin.
But Deidre’s health soon declined, and Lin quit his job to care for her full time. Seven years later, she went into palliative care at the hospital where she’d been such a popular volunteer.
In 2020, Deidre died, aged 69. Tragically, due to Melbourne's long pandemic lockdown, only 10 people could attend her funeral.
But her legacy will now live on.
Twenty years before her death, Deidre sat down with Lin to discuss estate planning.
“Deidre didn’t know how much time she had left, and she wanted to plan for the future. Since we didn’t have children, she suggested we might give most of our money to charity. She wanted to help a pet charity as she loved her animals, but mostly she wanted to give back to MS Plus for their support,” said Lin.
“It’s a great idea. At this stage, I don't know whether I would like our gift to go for research because while Deidre was keen on finding a cure, so many people with MS need services right now. Most likely our gift will be a combination to help with research and patient services. I have to think about it more while I get my affairs in order with my solicitor," he concluded.
Could you be like Lin and Deidre and leave a gift to help others? If you want to know more about how to leave a gift in your will to MS Plus, ring Laura or Bec on 1800 443 867 or email [email protected]